Loony Tunes Revisited

Sunday afternoon I find myself with tickets once again to the Shenzhen Music Hall for the Sunday Afternoon Series Of Music For The People. I am starting to wonder if I am the only person in the office dumb enough to go to these concerts. but since I had the most splendid morning watching the Dodgers finish their sweep of the Cubs (!!!!!) on a play by play online scorecard I was in a playful mood. Today's show is going to be a demonstration of the theatre's pipe organ. Sounds interesting enough. I grab a seat three rows back from the front, center stage. The seat to my left is soon filled by the most annoying guy I've had the displeasure to meet here. He is a fidgety chap who can't stop rubbing his nose on his sleeve. Plus every 11 seconds he blows a snot bubble out of his nostril. over and over again. It is repeated through the course of the show. His legs rapidly bounce up and down and when he's not blowing snot bubbles he is sucking in hefty loads of mucus that he gargles. Then after accumulating an amount that he is satisfied with he proceeds to "hawk" said loogy onto the floor. Which he then wipes with a piece of paper. I made the mistake of catching him review his paper's latest pick up. I, with moistening eyes, hold firm looking dead ahead. the show has already started and I have no where to go. If I had sat off to the side then I could have made an unseen exit. But not now. Not with the presenter/organist talking to the crowd only feet away from me. This man to my left, laughs and talks with others, wiping his nose on his shirt, juggling mucus balls in his throat. I consider the ramifications of a swift left elbow. Pointless daydreaming. my only hope is that this lady starts playing the organ. After talking for about 5 minutes she heads up a flight of stairs to the organ's seat. The pipe organ itself is magnificent in size and I can't wait to hear it .
The lights go out. She begins. Actually I thought perhaps a cat had jumped onto the keyboard at the last second, or maybe she dropped a bunch of books onto it, but no, it was her playing the most bizarre, horribly out of tune melody I've ever heard. It's dark and ominous tone put a picture in my mind of Sesame's St.'s Count, sitting at his organ trying to coax precise movement from stubbornly drunk fingers. This goes on for an hour. Accompanied of course by Sir Snot's A-lot fervent cheering. She moves on to such organ classics as the theme from Indiana Jones, Superman, and the Wedding March. She then plays the theme to the Beijing Olympics. Then the song that was sung by a man and woman in the Olympics opening. This is a big hit with the crowd. So much so she plays it twice, all the while Snotstrodaumus is singing horribly out of tune and looking at me singing, "Hand in hand we family World." The show ends. I'm out of there promising myself that I will say no thanks next time when offered free tickets.