Saturday night Fear-ver

the plan for Saturday night is to meet up at the fabulous Galleon Club located atop the third floor of the Intercontinental Hotel here in Shenzhen. This bar is built in the shape of a Spanish Galleon. With the main stage area inside the hull, a champagne and wine bar on the top deck, the Galleon sits on the third floor roof in a pond thats filled with beautiful fish and is surrounded by an equally beautiful deck. This is one of my favorite places. It is known to us as the Ship Bar. Apparently because some of the locals don't know how to pronounce Galleon or for that matter know what a galleon is.
The plan is to meet Kevin and Bobby there for a few drinks. We will then be joined by a girl from our office and her two friends. Kevin has been trying to get this girl to hook up Bobby with one of her "purportedly" cute friends for awhile now and tonight seems to be the night. Two and half hours late they arrive. I say hello to the girl from the office. Which I've met a couple of times and she seems nice. Then I glance at her friends. Instantly I hear nails on a chalkboard, screeching tires, breaking glass, screams of the innocent. Gulp. These are some hounds. Old ones too. I'm guessing mid forties on one and dare I say mid 50's on the other one. I feel really bad for Bobby but he seems indifferent. The girls sit down and the main girl from work (I'll call her D) starts up the conversation. She begins to tell her friend "Daisy" (the older one) about how young and strong I am, and that I played guitar for the office and I'm a good catch.

?!

I double take. jaw on my shoes. Did I just hear her try to sell me to her friend? Daisy turns and looks at me. Smiles. Dang she's really old. As I ponder this I notice how her greenish black teeth curve inwards like arthritic fingers. "Oh D's such a kidder, I'm (drawing a blank) ah.... hey where's that waitress?" I look across the table at Kevin. He shrugs and mouths something like "sorry dude" I zone out a bit, staring off into the distance. Listening to the conversation, replenishing my drink from the carafe. thinking of an exit strategy. The other one isn't unattractive, she's just mid 40's and isn't interested in talking with Bobby. While staring at my twiddling thumbs I notice that the seam in the crotch of my pants is ripped. This night is just getting better and better. The girls run off to dance. I'm spared. But only for a moment.Thunder breaks out and rain begins to fall in sheets. We scurry inside the Galleon setting up camp at a previously used table.
the girls return one by one to try to coax me to dance. Not tonight ladies, not with you, and not with my pants dying on me. I have a girlfriend. I'm not dancing period. "Please, it's just dance?"
"No"
after increasingly stronger requests I say "look, I can't dance tonight, my pants are ripped in a very precarious way!" Big mistake.

"WAaaaaaah hahahaaaaaaa" this comes from Carol and it's the most evil sounding old woman's laugh I have ever heard. She bends down to inspect the tear. Then D. She puts her fingers towards the rip while saying "it's the bird's nest!"

I jump 3 feet in the air. "ok ok ok ok, that's enough," I have no idea what's she's talking about birds nest, unless she was looking for eggs, but I'll move on. I tell her no more and she just laughs. her and the girls are having a riot now and are deciding that they are going to take me out next week and sell me. They say I get them good price.

oh man. The night mercifully ends (hours later) with the girls going home and Kevin apologizing. Saying that he doesn't recommend that I go out with them next week. I am way ahead of him.